And Their Progress


The Rights Of Women

Giving women right gave us:
  • Words like chairperson
  • Boots as footwear for members of the fair sex
  • And removed the ability to determine sex by one's hair length
Depriving Woman of rights give us:
  • Homemade cookies
  • The assurance that an invitation would be properly responded to
  • A guarantee that one segment of the population would not laugh at bodily noises

The Rights Of Jews

Giving Jews their rights gave us:
  • Frozen bagels
  • Progressive kindergartens
  • New York's Upper WEST Side.
Depriving Jews of their rights gave us
  • Highly entertaining standup comedians
  • Great delis
  • Interesting expressions used to describe gentiles

The Rights Of Blacks

Giving Blacks their rights gave us:
  • Rap Music
  • Ripple
  • Complicated handshakes
Depriving Blacks of their rights gave us:
  • Jazz
  • Tap dancing
  • Interesting expressions used to describe white people

The Rights Of Teenagers

Giving Teens their rights gave us:
  • Social commentary
  • Easy access to sex and premature boredom with it
  • The ability to vote just as they are discovering symbolism in song lyrics
Depriving Teens of their rights gave us:
  • Thrill of secret drinking
  • The "coolness" of being a juvenile delinquent
  • Sexual repression, thus the development of TRULY innovated sexual fantasies

The Rights Of Homosexuals

Giving Gays their rights gave us:
  • Cats
  • Leather undergarments
  • Male flight attendants
Depriving Gays of their rights gave us:
  • Art
  • Sarcastic wit
  • REAL gossip

The Rights Of Men

Giving Men their rights gave us:
  • Quiche
  • Feelings
  • Manicured Eyebrows
Depriving Men of their rights gave us:
  • Names like Jack and John
  • Prostitutes who worked for money not drugs
  • Wars fought in Europe, at places we could pronounce

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