All right people, you know why we are all here; to find love that is why. But being men, trying to find other men, makes it just a bit harder. After all we men are not sneaky enough to trap each other the way women do. So we lie, or better said, "emphasize points which may not be entirely accurate."
In an attempt at a public service I will now show you how to translate a personal ad I picked up of a site called guys4men.
The ad read as follows:
Slender, neat, clean, Leo seeking special guy. Let's share the quiet times of my world, the flowers, soft music, satin and mahogany
I'm sports oriented, non-materialistic and an outdoor lover. I know how to do you right, very affectionate here.
I'm fun loving and financially secure man who enjoys long walks and foreign foods. I enjoy reading and am never far from a book. I'm equally at easy with everyone.
42, 188, 5-10.
OK this sounds pretty good till you know what it means.
He says: Slender, neat, clean, Leo, seeks special guy.
Slender: You'd ask him to turn sideways but he doesn't have a sideways.
Neat and Clean: At least by his definition, which probably isn't yours.
Leo: Likes cats, but what gay man doesn't.
He says: Let's share the quiet times of my world, the flowers, soft music, satin and mahogany.
Quiet times: He's deaf
Flowers? Music? Satin? Mahogany? He's a mortician
He says: I'm sports oriented, non-materialistic and outdoor lover. I know how to do you right, very sweet here.
Sports Oriented: Has a tennis racket, somewhere.
Non-materialistic: He lives in a refrigerator box.
Outdoor Lover: The box is underneath the highway overpass.
Knows how to do you right: The popcorn is on him.
Very sweet: Calls all his boyfriends "sugar."
he says: 45, 188, 5-10
You would think that would be his age, weight and height. No in reality it is his IQ, his paycheck and the last sentence he received from "his Honor."
Now that you have these insights to guide you, let's all go onto the town and get that love we seek